Embrace your kinky side

It’s not rare to hear spankees admit that they acknowledge their need to be spanked but they have trouble accepting that it is something that they need. For many, there’s shame associated with being someone who wants, craves to be spanked even. And it’s not limited to spankees either.

Those of us who like to give spankings struggle with the same difficulties. I remember clearly that I had lots of difficulty accepting that there’s a part of me that enjoys spanking women, hurting them. Medical encyclopedias labeled such a condition as sadistic, a sickly desire, a perversion. It’s not easy to be a teenager and discovering you are a pervert. Like all people I wanted to belong, to be normal.

It troubled me so much that eventually I sought out therapy at age 16. As part of the intake, I had an interview with a psychologist and had to explain what I was doing there. I told her that I enjoyed spanking girls, that I had fantasies about it. When asked what I wanted to achieve, I remember saying that I wanted to be cured. What happened next, in retrospect probably changed my life.
She asked me if I was able to function in society, to which I said yes. She asked me if I had other interests besides spanking to which I also said yes. Finally, she asked me if the girl or girls I did it with, did it willingly and enjoyed it. Again I answered yes. “So what’s the problem?” she asked. I objected that it wasn’t normal. She assured me that to her, I seemed healthy.

Being kinky doesn’t mean you are crazy. There’s nothing wrong with you just because you enjoy some alternate form of sexuality. You just enjoy something else than what’s the norm – as if there is such a thing anyway. Unfortunately, society is full of people who judge what they don’t understand or don’t like. That says much more about them than it says about you.

I guess what I’m trying to say with this blog post is that being kinky doesn’t make you sick. It doesn’t make you perverted. As long as your kink doesn’t control your life and you practice it with people who consent and enjoy it, it’s not a problem. You are healthy.
There’s no need to be ashamed of your kink. You didn’t choose to be kinky but your kinky side is a part of you. Like any other part of your body, you can’t deny that it exists and you should not ignore it. You can’t be fully happy, fully you, if you deny a part of who you are. Learn to embrace your kinky side.