If your partner wants to be spanked

So what if your partner wants to be spanked? What do you do? Is this normal? Don’t panic but read this instead!

If your partner wants to be spanked

If your partner has expressed a desire to be spanked, please remember the following important points. I can’t give you exact information on how you should handle this in your relationship but remembering this should help you deal with this request. Understanding why some people like to be spanked may also help.

Don’t panic

First of all, don’t panic. Instead, think of what a wonderful thing your partner has done. She has shared with you something that is most likely intimate and important to her. Treat it that way.


It is vitally important that you communicate with her about this. You don’t have to have a deep psychological conversation with her, try to keep it light and show her you are interested in what she has told you. That doesn’t mean you have to be interested in spanking her, just in her request. Try and find out what she expects to get out of the spanking. Why does she want a spanking? Just for fun? Is she merely interested and wants to experiment? Or does the idea of being spanked turn her on? Does she want to role-play, boss and bad secretary, or so? Or does she have a need for discipline? Or maybe a lot of this combined? The important thing for you is to get her expectations straight so she (and you) don’t end up disappointed.

Could you?

You have to ask yourself if you are willing to go along with her request. Once you know something about why she wants a spanking, you can find out for yourself if you can provide that.

Won’t I hurt her?

Your fear about hurting her is perfectly normal. The time when men hit their women (without their consent) and that being normal, is thankfully in the past. Men nowadays are taught that it is wrong to hit a woman and I think that is right. So when your partner comes up to you and requests to be spanked, you are probably a little out of your depth. No problem. A spanking hurts, a little or a lot. That is fine and your partner probably wants it to hurt a little, or maybe even a lot. If done properly, a spanking won’t cause any permanent damage. That is why I would recommend a hand spanking. That way, you feel the force of the impact on your hand as well. Also, remember the words “safe, sane and consensual”. Safe, as in don’t use weird implements, unsafe positions, or your total body power when spanking. Sane as in staying away from alcohol and drugs that will cloud your judgment, don’t do stuff of which you are not sure is safe (balancing her over a rickety chair or so) and lastly: consensual. That means you both have to agree with the proceedings, to give your consent. Ultimately, it’s your partner who decides when it’s enough, when to slow things down, etc.
Don’t forget your limits either. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Remember, a hand spanking can (and probably will hurt) but it would require a lot of force to actually cause damage using your open palm.

What will others think?

What the two of you do, in the privacy of your own home, in a safe, sane and consensual way, is nobody else’s business. If the two of you enjoy it, it isn’t wrong or weird or anything else. Just two adult people engaging in some fun. Some people play bridge, you enjoy a little spanking, so what? Besides, there are millions and millions of people in the world who enjoy spanking. Studies I have seen, put the number at about one out of every twelve people that enjoy some form of spanking. There’s a lot less people who enjoy bridge, I can tell you that.


You should congratulate yourself with being in a relationship where your partner feels safe enough to ask about this. That alone is worth a lot. You are obviously quite close and this can bring you a lot closer if you let it.

Have fun with it

Try and have fun with it. It’s okay to burst out laughing during role-play or so. It’s happened to me too and maybe the spanking doesn’t happen then and there, but you’ll have a fond memory you both share! Ultimately, incorporating spanking into your love life, will make the two of you closer. And is’t that what a relationship is all about?

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